Today was hard. I yelled at Aurora, poor thing was scared and confused. She doesn't understand.
I come from a family of yellers. Anger that came in short amounts, but huge intensity. Screaming, cussing, berating you until you broke down and cried or worse.
When I got to the age of reason I realized that if I could hold very tight control over myself, if I could be stone, then it was my only small victory. But holding it in too tightly is exactly what causes the explosions.
It's hard to navigate and I'm working hard to be better for myself and those around me. How to be soft when hardness keeps me safe? How to rein in the aggression when dominance protects me?
But you know what? All those frightening outbursts, my dad never once hit me. He punched a wall once, he smashed up a pair of sunglasses with his hands once. My parents came from families of hitters. And as an adult I realize and appreciate the work they did to make themselves better.
Feelings are hard. Being human is hard.
"i was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
if you drive out of range"
https://youtu.be/TENLNxXxsOI
Kip Ashlynn
npub1hs…hly9q
2026-09-09 23:12:15 UTC
Author Public Key
npub1hspwpfkq7qddnj6h52c03muzgx79l7teeez99n57ys77g4m4vujs3hly9qPublished at
2026-09-09 23:12:15 UTCEvent JSON
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"content": "Today was hard. I yelled at Aurora, poor thing was scared and confused. She doesn't understand. \n\nI come from a family of yellers. Anger that came in short amounts, but huge intensity. Screaming, cussing, berating you until you broke down and cried or worse. \n\nWhen I got to the age of reason I realized that if I could hold very tight control over myself, if I could be stone, then it was my only small victory. But holding it in too tightly is exactly what causes the explosions. \n\nIt's hard to navigate and I'm working hard to be better for myself and those around me. How to be soft when hardness keeps me safe? How to rein in the aggression when dominance protects me?\n\nBut you know what? All those frightening outbursts, my dad never once hit me. He punched a wall once, he smashed up a pair of sunglasses with his hands once. My parents came from families of hitters. And as an adult I realize and appreciate the work they did to make themselves better.\n\nFeelings are hard. Being human is hard. \n\n\"i was shocked\nto see the mistakes of each generation\nwill just fade like a radio station\nif you drive out of range\"\n\nhttps://youtu.be/TENLNxXxsOI",
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